Little Red Hen 2012
“Who will help me plant my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
“Not I,” said Nancy Pelosi cow. “Not I,” said Barbara Boxer duck. “Not I,” said Harry Reid pig. “Not I,” said Jesse Jackson goose.
“Then I will do it by myself.” She planted her crop and the wheat grew and ripened.
“Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
“I stoop for nobody,” said Boxer duck. “Out of my classification,” said Reid pig. “I’d lose my seniority,” said Pelosi cow. “I’d lose my dignity,” said Jackson goose.
“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.
“Who will help me bake the bread?” asked the little red hen.
“That’s beneath my status,” said Pelosi cow. “I’d look bad to my Welfare recipients,” said Boxer duck. “I can’t soil my hands with manual labor,” said Reid pig. “If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,” said Jackson goose.
“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They all demanded a share, but the little red hen said, “No, I’ll eat all five loaves.”
“Excess profits!” cried Pelosi cow.. “Capitalist leech!” screamed Boxer duck. “I demand equal bread rights!” yelled Jackson goose. Reid pig just grunted with disdain…
Then they all painted UNFAIR! picket signs and marched round and round the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
When farmer Obama came he said to the little red hen, “You must not be so greedy.”
“But I earned the bread,” protested the little red hen.
“Exactly,” said farmer Obama, “that’s what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our new government regulations productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.”
The little red hen never baked bread again. She joined the red party and got her bread free. Fairness had been established.
Individual initiative died but nobody noticed until the next year when there was no bread or anything else to eat. But, praise be to farmer Obama, they all starved equally like the Chinese under farmer Mao, the Russians under farmer Stalin, the Germans under farmer Hitler, the Italians under farmer Mussolini, the North Koreans under Kim Il Jung and so on under every farmer who has ever tried the ‘great leap forward.’
Do we all starve next year?!